I had never thought that enjoying every moment of my life would be the daily goal I wanted to achieve. Back then, I was an ambitious person, perfectionist, someone who felt guilty each time I was taking breaks. I was hungry for achievements. After I got this then I set for another goal. The loves from people who care a lot about me, thankfully, have always brought me back on the ground. Despite the fact that my family has been pushing me to move forward, they have never judged me if I failed. Whenever I am at home, I am at peace, the only place on earth where I can be very tranquil. It's like I could never ask for more other than the smiles and the laughters from my mother, my father and my sister. And my extended families and some of our closest neighbors, too.
Sweet companionships from pals from the childhood, school years until working phase have been another blessed thing that I had never expected to gain. Every time we spend nice time together, it's like I am one of the luckiest persons. I don't have a lot of closed friends. My best, best pals are just a few but they are those who love and accept me for who I am.
As I grow older, I have been learning to not only savor special moments with families and friends, but also each and every bit of what happens in my life. I mean like, ALL OF IT. The moments that make me smiles, the occasions when I meet assholes in the road or even the days when I have to wake up feeling so blue after a hard cry the night before. The funny, the sad, the plain moments.
I want to enjoy and feel all of that. Whole-heartedly. Deeply. Profoundly.
I want to feel the days, weeks or months living in limbo. The moments I have a crush on someone but have not guts to say to him. I want to embrace the experiences of getting my heart broken. I want to laugh until tears coming down to my face. Or when the days just pass me by with barely no significant events.
Because I believe that nothing lasts forever in this whole damn world. Not even my sorrows, anxieties and happiness. So I have to be present as the moments occur otherwise they will just slip away with no traces. Because I believe that even my tears teach me something. That each and every person that I encounter have something to say about me, about things that I need to learn for the sake of my own growth. If I don't fully learn then I won't expand; I won't be the better version of myself.
Enjoying everything with all of my heart is a difficult task as I have to put the whole focus on it. It's one of the hardest lessons the universe has to offer. And to be a good pupil of it, I have to open up my heart; have it hurts if that's inevitable; let it be carried away in a thrill if that really happens. My heart will be very prone to mixed sensations that may not be joyful all the time but through it all, I expand, I learn and I grow. That's when I develop as a human being, a courageous one. That's how I learn to celebrate my life.
Massive thank you for mindoverbar.com for the wonderful picture.Karya : Eny Wulandari